Re: hope ()

Re: hope
Posted by littleroo on May 8, 2008 at 11:38:21

In reply to: Re: hope* posted by Victoria Taylor on May 8, 2008 at 09:02:58*

Yes, I do follow you and that is what I have shared with him many times.....The last time we briefly saw each other was 6-7 weeks ago..and he shared how it is tough, things are ok, but there was ME.....I told he has to do what he wants to do, not me. I have mentioned many times he was welcome to find me when he has finally ended things....Yes, the pain is there for us both. The last time we talked I started to cry for he called when sh** was hitting the fan with my xH...the timing of him calling was needed, but he thought I was crying becuz of us..and I was not. it was just great to hear from him, for the junk of my xH was not on my thoughts. I told him this last week, for he called me out of the blue after 6-7 weeks of NC. In that phone call, he was the first to say I love you, not me...I feel guilty for not being the one this time, but I was always the one. I was shock that he did. I feel there is small hope, but you are so right about staying away...so he can deal with it there. Time is a huge killing factor at this moment, but I see it also it is in God's hands now. I am living life with fun and smiles...granted the tears are there at times, not as much as before......but they are there. The little things we shared together send me in a little missing mood...but I cherish the memories and move on. I know I am rambling now..sorry. This is so freaking tough, so tough. However, I will not go back to the old way, NO WAY!!!! He knows that!!!

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> Yes, I do follow you and that is what I have shared with him many times.....The last time we briefly saw each other was 6-7 weeks ago..and he shared how it is tough, things are ok, but there was ME.....I told he has to do what he wants to do, not me. I have mentioned many times he was welcome to find me when he has finally ended things....Yes, the pain is there for us both. The last time we talked I started to cry for he called when sh** was hitting the fan with my xH...the timing of him calling was needed, but he thought I was crying becuz of us..and I was not. it was just great to hear from him, for the junk of my xH was not on my thoughts. I told him this last week, for he called me out of the blue after 6-7 weeks of NC. In that phone call, he was the first to say I love you, not me...I feel guilty for not being the one this time, but I was always the one. I was shock that he did. I feel there is small hope, but you are so right about staying away...so he can deal with it there. Time is a huge killing factor at this moment, but I see it also it is in God's hands now. I am living life with fun and smiles...granted the tears are there at times, not as much as before......but they are there. The little things we shared together send me in a little missing mood...but I cherish the memories and move on. I know I am rambling now..sorry. This is so freaking tough, so tough. However, I will not go back to the old way, NO WAY!!!! He knows that!!!