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Posted by elsie on May 8, 2008 at 23:03:21

In reply to: Re: a bump in the road* posted by alegreme on May 8, 2008 at 22:56:58*

Hey leggy,

Can I ask a question. If it's tmi, just tell me. When you 'went back' as you say, was it like "hey mm, I'm back and things are like what they used to be" or was it here and there and just random interactions.

I don't think in any way that I'm back in "it". Maybe I'm in denial but I'm just curious how it worked for you. Especially as someone who had years and years invested.

One thing that I feel I am keenly aware of nowadays is that even if I do see him, NOTHING is going to change pertaining to the future 'us' or lack of us. But, when I did see him...I felt more like TOW or in an affair than I had in all our years together. And that made me feel weak and cheap. It's like before January I truly believed when the mitigating circumstances were cleared up that it would be our turn for a life and that I could justify our need for an emr b/c I thought the end result would be different. Does that even make sense?

I do not in any way, shape or form want to be a HOW and I will not but it's so hard to just erase him entirely from me and my life in one move.

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Re: question alegreme 23:45:46 5/8/2008 (0)

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> Hey leggy, > > Can I ask a question. If it's tmi, just tell me. When you 'went back' as you say, was it like "hey mm, I'm back and things are like what they used to be" or was it here and there and just random interactions. > > I don't think in any way that I'm back in "it". Maybe I'm in denial but I'm just curious how it worked for you. Especially as someone who had years and years invested. > > One thing that I feel I am keenly aware of nowadays is that even if I do see him, NOTHING is going to change pertaining to the future 'us' or lack of us. But, when I did see him...I felt more like TOW or in an affair than I had in all our years together. And that made me feel weak and cheap. It's like before January I truly believed when the mitigating circumstances were cleared up that it would be our turn for a life and that I could justify our need for an emr b/c I thought the end result would be different. Does that even make sense? > > I do not in any way, shape or form want to be a HOW and I will not but it's so hard to just erase him entirely from me and my life in one move.