Re: MM alert! (need to share) ()

Re: MM alert! (need to share)
Posted by YetAnotherTOW on March 11, 2010 at 17:33:37

In reply to: MM alert! (need to share)* posted by Angelfood on March 11, 2010 at 14:46:18*

Wow! Good luck! Please keep us posted!

> So ladies ... I have nobody to really tell this story to. At least, nobody that would really understand (not judge) all the details. So... here goes.
>
> As many here know, over the past 5 years, I've dated a number of MMs. At various times, and for various reasons, they've fit into my life. All were good experiences. And in those time frames when I felt I wanted/needed something more committed, I stopped seeing MMs and started seeing SGs.
>
> My "trick" with MMs is to never be emotionally involved. Sure, I've been fond of each and every one, and I've enjoyed our time (otherwise, why spend time?). But I never dated an MM looking for a committment or anything other than a FWB. I never spent a ton of time with any MM - my schedule prevented that, and needless to say - his would too! lol ...
>
> Yes, I've been a HOW! (and the moment I felt anything less than Happy, I ended it).
>
> Well, I've stayed in touch with a couple of those MMs. All very cordial, sweet guys. No pressure from them, no emotional hangups on my end. Just the occaisonal email, txt or phone call from them asking how I've been, etc. etc.
>
> One MM in particular ... very very sweet guy.. smart, good sense of humor ...treated me like gold ...and *handsome* (6'3", fit, blonde,blue ... yum!). I always genuinely liked him. I always kept my emotional distance. We had a lot of fun together.
>
> And when I met my xSG and got serious with him, this MM was respectful of that. He stayed in touch from time to time, but never asked to see me. Really a good guy (except for the whole cheating on his W thing ... lol).
>
> So, he knows that xSG moved out recently, cause we had spoken about a month before xSG left and he knew I was trying to get xSG to leave. He's asked to see me a couple of times since xSG moved, but I told him straight up I wasn't ready to see anybody, and again, he has been completely respectful of that. But we "run into" each other on IM 2 days ago - and we really really had a nice chat. During the chat I realize, once again, how genuinely kind this guy is towards me - and I told him what a nice guy he is, and jokingly said "it's a shame you're married!"
>
> I have NEVER asked about his W, he never mentions her. I know nothing about his home life. I have no idea if he has OOW. I have no idea what his "reasons" are that he cheats. I just figured he did it 'cuase he could. Honestly, I've never cared about that stuff. Like I said, this was a very FWB kind of thing ...
>
> After I mention "shame you're married," he tells me W is in a coma and they are pulling the plug this coming Tuesday. To quote him, "I'll be free after that."
>
> I expressed my surprise and condolences, and he didn't want to talk about it. Which is his perogative, of course.
>
> OMG. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
>
> I have no reason to not believe him. He's got NO reason to lie to me. But HOLY CRAPIOKA. Talk about getting a whole different perspective on a person ... I just had no idea he was living with anything of that nature in his life.
>
> Anyhow, we are planning to see each other soon ... I'll keep you ladies posted on this one!
>
> AF

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> Wow! Good luck! Please keep us posted! > > > So ladies ... I have nobody to really tell this story to. At least, nobody that would really understand (not judge) all the details. So... here goes. > > > > As many here know, over the past 5 years, I've dated a number of MMs. At various times, and for various reasons, they've fit into my life. All were good experiences. And in those time frames when I felt I wanted/needed something more committed, I stopped seeing MMs and started seeing SGs. > > > > My "trick" with MMs is to never be emotionally involved. Sure, I've been fond of each and every one, and I've enjoyed our time (otherwise, why spend time?). But I never dated an MM looking for a committment or anything other than a FWB. I never spent a ton of time with any MM - my schedule prevented that, and needless to say - his would too! lol ... > > > > Yes, I've been a HOW! (and the moment I felt anything less than Happy, I ended it). > > > > Well, I've stayed in touch with a couple of those MMs. All very cordial, sweet guys. No pressure from them, no emotional hangups on my end. Just the occaisonal email, txt or phone call from them asking how I've been, etc. etc. > > > > One MM in particular ... very very sweet guy.. smart, good sense of humor ...treated me like gold ...and handsome (6'3", fit, blonde,blue ... yum!). I always genuinely liked him. I always kept my emotional distance. We had a lot of fun together. > > > > And when I met my xSG and got serious with him, this MM was respectful of that. He stayed in touch from time to time, but never asked to see me. Really a good guy (except for the whole cheating on his W thing ... lol). > > > > So, he knows that xSG moved out recently, cause we had spoken about a month before xSG left and he knew I was trying to get xSG to leave. He's asked to see me a couple of times since xSG moved, but I told him straight up I wasn't ready to see anybody, and again, he has been completely respectful of that. But we "run into" each other on IM 2 days ago - and we really really had a nice chat. During the chat I realize, once again, how genuinely kind this guy is towards me - and I told him what a nice guy he is, and jokingly said "it's a shame you're married!" > > > > I have NEVER asked about his W, he never mentions her. I know nothing about his home life. I have no idea if he has OOW. I have no idea what his "reasons" are that he cheats. I just figured he did it 'cuase he could. Honestly, I've never cared about that stuff. Like I said, this was a very FWB kind of thing ... > > > > After I mention "shame you're married," he tells me W is in a coma and they are pulling the plug this coming Tuesday. To quote him, "I'll be free after that." > > > > I expressed my surprise and condolences, and he didn't want to talk about it. Which is his perogative, of course. > > > > OMG. You could have knocked me over with a feather. > > > > I have no reason to not believe him. He's got NO reason to lie to me. But HOLY CRAPIOKA. Talk about getting a whole different perspective on a person ... I just had no idea he was living with anything of that nature in his life. > > > > Anyhow, we are planning to see each other soon ... I'll keep you ladies posted on this one! > > > > AF